The Sound of Mu—

—tated lyrics can be heard around our house a lot nowadays. Not only our usual bungled refrains and creative interpretations of mumbly songs. Lately we’re consciously cooking up new lyrics for old songs, particularly those that hail from less-enlightened times.  In June I took my daughter to see a local theater company’s production of  “The Sound of Music.” Ever since, my husband and I start the day flipping eggs to “Climb Ev’ry Mountain” and shut down the house at night to “The Lonely Goatherd.” It’s more than a nervous system can take–especially when some of the content is uber-dated. My girl’s especially partial to “You are Sixteen, Going on Seventeen,” which by any measure, is a great song. But the message, holy crap! I can’t take Liesel’s smack about needing someone older and wiser telling her what to do. Not sitting down, anyway. That’s where the concise and impactful words “NOT!, LOTS! an HA!” come in most handy. The timing works out just fine, too. Enjoy this revisionist version with your little girl or boy soon…
(Rolf)
You are 16 going on 17
Baby its time to think
Better beware
Be canny and careful
Baby you’re on the brink
(Liesel) NOT!

(Rolf)
You are 16 going on 17
Fellows will fall in line
Eager young lads
And grueways and cads
Will offer you fruit and wine

Totally unprepared are you
To face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared are you
Of things beyond your ken

(Liesel) NOT!
You need someone
Older and wiser
Telling you what to do
I am 17 going on 18
I’ll take care of you
(Liesel) NOT!

(Leisl)
I am 16 going on 17
I know that i’m naive
Fellows I meet may tell me I’m sweet

And willingly I believe

NOT!

I am 16 going on 17 innocent as a rose
Bachelor dandies
Drinkers of brandies

What do I know of those -LOTS!

Totally unprepared am I
To face a world of men
Timid and shy and scared am I
Of things beyond my ken
HA!

I need someone
Older and wiser
Telling me what to do
You are 17 going on 18
I’ll depend on you ”

NOT!