Resistance and indecision lash at me in the hours after I pick up my children from school. On the outside I may look capable of handling the uncomfortable energy that accompanies our 3:00 reunion. Inside, however, I have the sensation of falling backwards. My son wants to do one thing (play at a park), and my daughter wants to do another (stay home). I check my mental ledger sheet. Who got his way yesterday? Who had a hard day at school and needs to win this one? Having these choices is a warm-weather luxury. The mid-October sun shines through the windows at a noticeably lower angle than it did a week ago. It casts a shadow of the three of us scrambling for a plan.
Whichever choice I make will exact a price and offer a reward. One child will be indignant, the other gloating. A tussle will ensue. If I disregard the ledger and do what I want, both kids will flail around and decry the injustice. Their spirits are coiled tight from the disappointments and stresses of the day. I take a deep breath and prepare for impact. When I announce my decision, they’ll take aim at me.
“We get the best of your children at school,” the teacher says to me sympathetically during a conference. A wave of jealousy washes over me. I want to be with the rested version of my kids, to see their smiles and eager arms waving in the air.
At 4:00 we must rally if we’re to do anything before dinner, baths and homework. So the children and I crawl into the Apollo nosecone. We burn through the atmosphere of our afternoon, adding fresh char marks to the ceramic tiles with each kick and grunt of displeasure. The rest of our rocket is long-gone, its fuel spent at work and at school. We climb out of the capsule at the head of a hiking trail, or along the edge of a river, and are redeemed. The world is bigger than our problems. We have returned to Earth.
In the final analysis, MOM is the King Solomon at times like this. Mom KNOWS who seems MOST to need a wish granted (though not counting Mom’s own wish). Mom knows, in the big picture, who is needing to have their wish o’ the afternoon granted. So might as well wallow in the power and authority of this lofty post. Unilateral decree: ( maybe even listen as the kids present their case )- then King Solomon exercises the burden of holder of the gavel. Case closed.