Silence is:

…trouble. With little kids, anyway. If a child under five wanders off in the house and doesn’t make a peep, check:
1. Tops of tall furniture
2. Candy stash on desk
3. Toilet paper rollers
4. Front and back doors
5. Laptop
6. Hot Stove
7. Closets that may have locked.

If, however, you’re out in public, you’re kids are over five, and they’re silent, they just might be checking this out in the restaurant bathroom:

Or stunned-dumb by this gem, in the Children’s Exhibit at Monticello (what parent-hating employee put this work-order through?)

The irony is, while your kids stand in awed silence, you have lots of ‘splaining to do. In two minutes or less, so think fast and don’t screw it up!!! There will be follow-up questions. Below are my feeble attempts to shed some light on the above images:

1) “The old man built that big building in India, called the Taj Mahal. It’s for his wife, who died. He’s sitting outside at night, remembering when she was alive. Why is she standing like that? Her dress is itchy.”

2) “That man was John the Baptist. He was a friend of Jesus. A king thought John was too famous so he killed him. The tray? Yes, that is a weird place for a head. I don’t know if the lady’s sad or happy. Yes, I would be unhappy to hold a head, too. You’re hungry? OK! Let’s go get some ice cream.”