Twisted

The latest installment of seeing my life through the eyes of my over-the-top college art history professor. For best results, read in a pseudo-English accent.

“Oh, what a tangled web we weave! Or rather, the six-year old Artist weaves, in his current piece entitled “Untitled.” Here we find two icons of recreation, a latte foamer and a Carrom board, entangled in their own mini-yuppie-junkyard. How much work was it to twist their fates forever? Only a single stolen moment, the flash of inspiration, the flip of a switch. Creation takes time, but destruction, says the Artist, just an instant. Not even the base of the foamer is spared, its battery cover left dangling, eviscerated of its double As. What contraption do the batteries power now? A flashlight? A talking belt buckle?  No matter, they are looted, lost, like the bronze horses of Constantinople now perched on the facade of St. Mark’s Cathedral in Venice.  Lo, ye foamer and Carrom net, mail-order spoils of the home-gourmet and gamer. We know we must refrain from disentangling you. For to do so would unleash a Kraken of expletives not even Perseus could conquer. Our only recourse is to seek solace at Starbucks, sipping foam frothed by a stranger. Then onto Sears, where our fruitless wanderings locate no new Carrom board, only the smug tease of a reverse-option DeWalt drill.”

For others in the series, click here.